It has been a topsy-turvy week. A week that saw more emotional downs than ups. Sometimes, you are blindsided by things you least expect, especially when you are under the notion that your life is just about as perfect as can be within certain limitations. But, I have decided I am not gonna let things bother me too much. There is only so much you can expect from others. Sometimes it is best to let them have their way even if it hurts you… maybe someday they would realize your worth or maybe, just maybe, they will finally see themselves through your eyes. Either way, I am done trying to get my point across to anyone. Recently, an old friend reminded me that I do not have to wait for anyone… no one is worth that… if someone does not want to try and hold on to you, then they don’t value you enough. It is their loss… not often do others come across someone like you.
Life is complicated as such and some things wrap you up so tight in their tentacles that it squeezes the will to survive out of you.
When your head starts to get clogged with thoughts, decisions to make, issues to solve – both yours and those of the people around you… it is a good idea to do some spring cleaning. It is nice to sit down and try and sort out your priorities. It is quite important to give yourself that time… a much needed service to ourselves which most of us unfortunately neglect. Sometimes, it is even necessary to cut down on your interactions with the rest of the world… but, not to the extent that you turn into an ascetic. When you are sifting through your numerous connections and acquaintances usually the first ones you think of are the ones closest to you. The first ones you want to demote or relegate to the bottom of your priorities list… how much ever you want them to believe that they mean something to you… they never meant anything to you to begin with. Do not do the disservice of letting them know that you have ‘demoted’ them in the scheme of your life… maybe they draw their strength to survive from your presence in their life. Even if you try to convince them that they are as special as can be… they will see through it and silently curse you / rue being a part of your life and blame themselves for the misery you are anyway indirectly implying they caused you.
I have learnt these lessons of life the hard way.
Oh… and yes… keep your friends around. Keep in touch with them however far away they are or however busy you are. There are times when you might wish you had a shoulder to lay your head on and maybe shed a few tears… lighten your heart a bit… and at times like these you should not have to regret not having anyone to turn to. So, stop bottling up everything within yourself… share your troubles as much as you share your laughter.
Or blog like me… that helps too… a sort of catharsis.
© Surya Murali