Reading through someone’s personal blog is sometimes like taking a walk down the paths his life has taken. Sometimes, when you know that person, you might find walking the path with him, sharing that part of his life.
I am not that lucky that I would have made enough of a difference in someone’s life that I would be alluded to in some elegant, feel-good way. It’s not like anyone carries a picture of me in their wallets (or heart even!) I don’t make much of an impression on anyone, not a positive one anyway. But, as I was strolling down someone else’s memory lane… I came across myself peeping in from the outside. And saw my life change as I looked on in awe.
Ironically, someone WAS carrying somebody’s pic in their wallet… and THAT, more than anything else, intrigued me. I thought it was a sweet, romantic albeit tragic gesture. Someone had made so deep an impression on him that even when they had parted ways, he had her close to him. Not in a stalker sort of way… more like a beautiful memory.
Was it the defining moment in my life… when someone’s lost love made me want to have a permanence in mine. Even if it was, 6 years later I still haven’t found it. I guess, my life runs in a loop around those moments. I may be older, hopefully, wiser… but still hungry, still waiting.
So, I turn the pages of the digital journal… going back to that moment again and again. Maybe, somewhere in my head, I wish that the post hadn’t made that mark on me… that deep aching wound. Perhaps, life would have been very different now.