Sometimes, you need a new beginning. A reboot. And that’s what I have decided to give myself. Re-format and reboot parts of my life… the troubling parts. It isn’t easy as it sounds because life isn’t exactly an errant computer system. Some things are too precious to let go completely… you can’t really erase them from your life without disastrous consequences. It is better to just clear the cache and start afresh… same in the case of some very dear relationships. I took the steps to clear the balance sheets, quite literally in some cases, and now I feel better. Maybe things will be better… a fresh start, a new beginning… even when it involves the same loved ones. So, I’ll drink to that (mixed berry juice… No wine! 😦 )
P.S.: I have been watching some stupid, some crappy movies. Goes with my state of mind. I found that even crappy books and movies can teach you a thing or two. People can hurt you in different ways. Some get off on hurting others physically and if you are a sadist you might even find pleasure in it. Then there are those that seem to enjoy torturing you emotionally, hurting your mind and your heart… maybe it’s them asserting their alpha image on you. They feel superior and righteous putting you down. They maybe right with their references but that’s not how you need to be disciplined when you are especially vulnerable. They are more dangerous to your well-being. They can destroy you, perhaps unintentionally… perhaps, that’s what they want… what gives them a high. If they have no other redeeming qualities, and if you aren’t strong enough to stand up to them then you are better off without them in your life. Walk away while you still can. But, of course… in the movies, he is a hero… he always has a reason for what he does, his worst infractions are redeemable. And you are involved too deep to get out now. You would be lucky to start over and find happiness… and maybe as broken as you are, he is still the one for you. A fresh start with him does you good.